no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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