Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
