Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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