Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
