yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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