Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
