with your own penis?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
