so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
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no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
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You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Oh god it's open bar.
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