dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
