Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize