I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
