remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
