a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
she smelled like a LAN party
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
