Old men and throwing up are my life now.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
