people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize