Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
