Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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