I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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