She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
