I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
