I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
