hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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