at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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