Do vagina's smell?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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