This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize