You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
