It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
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Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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