just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
