hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
