Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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