4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
