I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Randomize
