Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
