I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
