Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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