I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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