I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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