Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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