you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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