also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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