i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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