Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth

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(314): eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth http://tfl.nu/8d45

Replies (26) Good night (918) Bad night (4625)
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(602): View more from Arizona

I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol

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(602): I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol http://tfl.nu/1jiz

Replies (21) Good night (1265) Bad night (5132)
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(347): View more from New York

i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning

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(347): i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning http://tfl.nu/jabd

Replies (13) Good night (4199) Bad night (616)
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(850): View more from Florida

i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook

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(850): i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook http://tfl.nu/q3m5

Replies (39) Good night (5382) Bad night (2407)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.

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(860): Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years. http://tfl.nu/9khg

Replies (78) Good night (6744) Bad night (826)
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(708): View more from Illinois

having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling

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(708): having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling http://tfl.nu/2wgp

Replies (8) Good night (3097) Bad night (1120)
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(602): View more from Arizona

I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you

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(602): I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you http://tfl.nu/rxgp

Replies (23) Good night (1438) Bad night (4115)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth

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(402): I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth http://tfl.nu/es05

Replies (24) Good night (1638) Bad night (3394)
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(260): View more from Indiana

You told him you loved him!?

(1-260): View more from Indiana

I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.

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(260): You told him you loved him!? (1-260): I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes. http://tfl.nu/duby

Replies (6) Good night (2660) Bad night (934)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name

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(423): In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name http://tfl.nu/dqgq

Replies (3) Good night (3018) Bad night (735)
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(714): View more from California

I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born

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(714): I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born http://tfl.nu/tmja

Replies (13) Good night (2976) Bad night (997)
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(248): View more from Michigan

im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...

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(248): im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend... http://tfl.nu/rj6y

Replies (4) Good night (2371) Bad night (1067)
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(317): View more from Indiana

You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants

(812): View more from Indiana

That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.

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(317): You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants (812): That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub. http://tfl.nu/6wmx

Replies (2) Good night (1103) Bad night (413)
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(979): View more from Texas

my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad

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(979): my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad http://tfl.nu/r26e

Replies (10) Good night (424) Bad night (1426)
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(925): View more from California

So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever

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(925): So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever http://tfl.nu/x5gy

Replies (2) Good night (240) Bad night (564)

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