we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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