so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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