Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?