Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"

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(619): Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!" http://tfl.nu/5vjf

Replies (35) Good night (5888) Bad night (8435)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.

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(321): The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers. http://tfl.nu/lnvf

Replies (22) Good night (5897) Bad night (1070)
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(816): View more from Missouri

Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.

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(816): Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please. http://tfl.nu/1nwj

Replies (10) Good night (2888) Bad night (831)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me

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(203): Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me http://tfl.nu/81ac

Replies (12) Good night (4627) Bad night (1609)
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(517): View more from Michigan

My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough

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(517): My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough http://tfl.nu/k0hj

Replies (5) Good night (909) Bad night (1668)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.

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(832): He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits. http://tfl.nu/umk6

Replies (9) Good night (775) Bad night (1160)
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(509): View more from Washington

threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again

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(509): threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again http://tfl.nu/loxl

Replies (4) Good night (488) Bad night (1184)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.

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(+44): I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye. http://tfl.nu/9vv3

Replies (5) Good night (1674) Bad night (2044)
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(415): View more from California

He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type

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(415): He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type http://tfl.nu/pqp7

Replies (6) Good night (657) Bad night (593)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.

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(508): Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess. http://tfl.nu/kvya

Replies (7) Good night (1808) Bad night (569)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow

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(612): SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow http://tfl.nu/34f4

Replies (3) Good night (1042) Bad night (384)
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(+86): View more from China

Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.

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(+86): Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage. http://tfl.nu/0ehg

Replies (5) Good night (967) Bad night (355)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.

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(306): no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag. http://tfl.nu/bx17

Replies (0) Good night (659) Bad night (269)
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(315): View more from New York

I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night

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(315): I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night http://tfl.nu/e9r3

Replies (1) Good night (355) Bad night (498)
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(614): View more from Ohio

You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"

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(614): You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining" http://tfl.nu/17du

Replies (1) Good night (521) Bad night (296)

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