I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days