one might say we're banned from that church
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
So was this before or after he cried about trump?