What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
