after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
