they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Use "feeling words"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality