I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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