he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
