So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
we're making bets on your personal life
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
