It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Randomize
