pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize