turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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