i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
