I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
