If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
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I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
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Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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