Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
