yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
