Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
