its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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