I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Did I show you my penis last night?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I need water and some morals
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
