Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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