This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
She has the best kind of daddy issues
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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