the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
