I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I believe in your delicious
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
