oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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