pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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