You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
