think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
