It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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