he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
